Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Alabama - Still a Stereotype?

I was born in Alabama but for years I would not necessarily claim it. I would lean on the fact that my father was in the Army and we moved around the first 21 years of my life. I spent a lot of my childhood in Columbus/Fort Benning, Georgia because we seem to always get stationed there after my father had an tour of duty somewhere else.

My father's side of the family lives in Alabama and all I ever saw growing up is rural Pike County when I came to visit. I never saw Alabama as a bastion of economic wealth. I was a kid though and my most foremost thought was playing outside and as I got older - Girls! Girls! Girls! - Thanks Jay-Z.



But since I moved here in 1996, I see Alabama as a player in the not only the business world of the United States but also the world. I have since "embraced" the virtues of the State of Alabama and am proud to call myself an Alabamian. Of course those who do not reside here nor have even been here still have their stereotypes of Alabama. I am sure that some think that people might still have the mentality of "Old Alabama" in the era of Segregationist Wallace, Freedom Riders, and Bus Boycotts. I am sure that the image of people in overalls with snuff in their mouth with rebel flags flying from a pole in the back of their pickup truck pops in some people's head when you say Alabama. Or how about living in tin roof houses with no inside running water with barefoot kids covered with dirt? Watching the news last night, it seems that some people who are supposed to be open minded seem to still believe "Old Alabama" still exists.

United States Senator Patty Murray from Washington [state] certainly has the wrong idea of my state. Just a brief bit of history for those who do not know, the Air Force put out a bid to have a company to build a new fleet of refueling aircraft. Northrup Grumman won the contract and decided to build the aircraft in Mobile, Alabama. Boeing, a Washington state company, cried foul and said that bidding contest was flawed and the whole bid was thrown out. Of course, they would not have said anything if they had won the contract I am sure. She made a comment yesterday on the NPR show, "All Things Considered" that I found offensive as a worker in Alabama as should anyone that is gainfully employed and provide services for the citizens here (and the world). She is quoted as saying "I have stood on the line in Everett, Washington where we have thousands of workers who go to work every day to build these planes. I would challenge anybody to tell me that they've stood on a line in Alabama and seen anybody build anything."

For those who do not know, Alabama has made great strides to be a leader in manufacturing for the world. Hyundai in Montgomery; Mercedes in Vance; Toyota in Huntsville; and Honda in Lincoln are a few of the BIG BOYS that decided that Alabama was the place to build their products. Now some may say that just because you build cars, how does that relate to building planes. You may have a point but you also have to remember that the rockets that sent astronauts to the Moon were built in Alabama and now it is one of the centers for the new spacecraft coming online after the Space Shuttle is retired. If that doesn't show an ability to "flight", then you are a hard person to impress. So really I have only one thing to say to Senator Murray, don't talk about s%&t you have no knowledge about. It was an ignorant comment to make and it makes your constituents look ignorant for electing you to the US Senate.

Some other players in Alabama are GKN Aerospace in Tallassee; BAE Systems in Cordova, Huntsville, Anniston, and Albertville; and Austal USA in Mobile. The State of Alabama is full of manufacturers that touch different parts of the globe (just like some other states). From big to small items, there are different companies that touch every ones lives directly or indirectly. To make the claim that, we have nothing to offer as a state just shows how UN-informed Senator Murray is.

Senator Murray, why don't you take a trip to Alabama and see how wrong you are in regards to the value of our state and the hard work of our citizens. If you would like, give her a call, email her, or write her a letter. Click here for her contact information.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Tattered Tiger

Okay. You have all talked about it. You have all had your opinions. Here is one more.

Tiger Woods is hiding something. I like Tiger as much as the next person but KNOWING how the media and public crave information on celebrities, athletes, and any significant person in the world, he should just be up front and open regarding his "accident". I am not interested in his personal life.

I will have to say this - I never even knew the National Enquirer wrote a story about a possible affair with another woman BEFORE I came to the conclusion that there was more to the story of his "accident." If it is connected, then so be it. Not my concern.

There are those that say it is a personal matter so drop it. How is having a car accident with the driver going less than 30 miles per hour and running over a fire hydrant and ran into a tree a personal matter? How come there was a need to bust out windows to the rear of a Cadillac Escalade to pull someone out of the FRONT seat a personal matter? It happened on the street so therefore it is a public matter. Was there a malfunction of the car? Was he intoxicated? And most important, was there any domestic issues going on?

I am not hoping to see the man fall from grace. Far from it. And I am not hatin' because he got alotta dolla dolla bills. But just because you have money doesn't make you not accountable for your actions. Of course that is in a perfect world where everyone is treated the same.

If and I do say if there was a fight between them that escalated past words, someone needs to get some help. Both the victim and the accused. I could care less for the reason of any violence, if it occurred. Things that go unchecked can lead to something more deadly or sinister. Has anyone ever seen the series "Snapped" on the Oxygen newtork? I know women can be devious but Damn! It might makes you want to sleep with one eye open.

And again, I am only offering my opinion BASED on the pure lack of cooperation by the Woods family with law enforcement officials trying to investigate this incident. I understand that he is under no obligation to speak with law enforcement regarding the matter. He may not have done anything illegal but in the matter of public opinion he needs to do what a "normal" person would do to put the matter past him and his family.

The longer he delays speaking with police and the more cryptic messages that are release only prolongs the agony that he is trying to avoid. Also, the more clogged up my news day is filled with his mess instead of knowing how we are going to get out of Afghanistan or Iraq; will I be able to keep my job because the economy is getting better; or how am I going to pay for college for my daughter.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Opposite Reactions

Sorry for the long absence everyone. Just been extremely busy again but will try to do better. This is a short and sweet entry today.

I had a thought that had rattled around my head this morning. I had something happen to me today that when once revealed to someone else, I thought would garnered one reaction and got something totally opposite of how I would reacted in the same senario. In my further discussion, I guess it was implied that their reaction is not what I expected. When asked about their reaction, I didn't discuss it further because I wanted to make sure that I was not over-reacting to their reaction.


This made me think a moment about myself for a long moment. I truly consider myself a middle of the line thinking kind of guy (except when I need to think outside the box). So why was the reaction of that person so much different than mine? There are too many variables to consider in my assessment of the comparison - gender, racial background, religious background, life experience, and the list goes on and on.

It made me wonder if I am truly "normal" in my way of looking at any situation and how I should react. I understand that everyone is different but why did that stick out like that?

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

My New Title - Uncle



Sorry for the gaps between entries but I just haven't had the drive to post too many entries as of late. Hopefully after some peaks and valleys in my life smooth out into an even plain, I will get that drive again.

But there has been one significant change in my life. I have acquired the title of Uncle. My brother and his wife have brought a new Toney into the world, Kamden Walter Toney. Born on Monday, October 26, 2009 at 7:26 am. He is a little guy weighing 5 pounds and 6 ounces. There were a few complications but he is home safe and sound and getting stronger every day.

I never really thought that I would be an Uncle. Dwight, my baby brother, and I are getting up there in age where children were not an option anymore. I looked it up and of course everyone knows the main meaning of Uncle - the brother of one's mother or father or the husband of one's aunt. But the meaning that I take to heart is this - one who helps, advises, or encourages.

As children, my brother and I (only 4 years apart, well 3 years and 11 months), we were not the closest of siblings. It took us growing older and hopefully wiser to be close to each other. Even now, we are living in subdivision next to each other. I can drive through the neighborhood and get to his house in less than 90 seconds speeding.


My brother tells me now how much of an influence I had on him (now that we are grown) and how much I helped him over the years. He is a smart guy but even when he gets stumped on a word spelling, instead of consulting a dictionary, he will call or text me. Yes, I know, it is insane. It makes me feel good that I had that type of impact on someone. I have gotten that from past employees under my wing as well and just like everyone else, I always hoped that I can make a positive mark in this world with someone.

I hope that with little Kamden that I will get the opportunity along with my brother to be a positive influence in his life. In a world, where young men are just producing babies just to say they have offspring, have a lack a drive to better themselves, or seeking to do just enough to get by, I hope that with God's grace and the push from my brother and I that we will be able to mold little Kamden into a positive role model and touch the lives of others in a positive way.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

This Is a WTF Moment - Really? Is Rape Okay?

As I try to stay informed these busy days, I was watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart this morning and was taken aback by a segment on the show. It never amazes me what our elected representatives will and will not vote for while "representing the people." This, however, has got to be one of the most insane issues I have seen to date and wonder what the 30 senators who voted AGAINST it were thinking.

Al Franken, freshman Democratic senator from Minnesota and former Saturday Night Live alumni, passed an amendment to a defense bill this week that would withhold government contracts from organizations like KBR (Halliburton) if they restrict employees from taking rape and sexual assault cases to court. Seems simple enough, don't you agree? I mean, why would we want to restrict due process and give justice to those who are due?

This stems from Ms. Jamie Leigh Jones, a Halliburton/KBR employee, who in 2005, was gang-raped by her co-workers while she was working in Baghdad. She was detained in a shipping container for at least 24 hours without food, water, or a bed, and “warned her that if she left Iraq for medical treatment, she’d be out of a job.” Jones was prevented from bringing charges in court against KBR because her employment contract stipulated that sexual assault allegations would only be heard in private arbitration. This is NOT an isolated case but even if it was the only one, it would be one too many.



This is the result of that vote as explained by Jon Stewart on The Daily Show.

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Now, I have worked with federal government contracts in the past and know that the government can and will set forth rules and other directives to maintain a level of integrity for those that are, in essence, representatives of the federal government. But for what ever reason, the following 30 REPUBLICAN senators voted NAY to S.Amdt. 2588 to H.R. 3326 (Department of Defense Appropriations Act, 2010):

Alexander (R-TN); Barrasso (R-WY); Bond (R-MO);
Brownback (R-KS); Bunning (R-KY); Burr (R-NC);
Chambliss (R-GA); Coburn (R-OK); Cochran (R-MS);
Corker (R-TN); Cornyn (R-TX); Crapo (R-ID);
DeMint (R-SC); Ensign (R-NV); Enzi (R-WY);
Graham (R-SC); Gregg (R-NH); Inhofe (R-OK);
Isakson (R-GA); Johanns (R-NE); Kyl (R-AZ);
McCain (R-AZ); McConnell (R-KY); Risch (R-ID);
Roberts (R-KS); Sessions (R-AL); Shelby (R-AL);
Thune (R-SD); Vitter (R-LA); Wicker (R-MS);

What is embarassing to me is that BOTH Alabama Senators voted NAY on this admendment to the bill. I am not making any accusations but I wonder how deep in Halliburton's money pocket are they? What do you think? I suggest you ask your Senator, if they voted Nay, what was their logic behind their vote. I know I will. I need to remove the picture I have of myself with Senator Sessions from my Facebook and Blog pages until perhaps he comes to his senses.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Long Time, No Hear From

Sorry for the big break. A lot of things going on in my life - work, professional activities, preparing for personal life changes. They seem to be taking a bit of a toll on me. One good thing about it is that I have lost 15 pounds in the process of hustle and bustle. I may break that 200 pound mark within the week.

The last two days were supposed to be my off days but I ended up having to do something with work both days. Never a problems because I am dedicated to the task at hand. Sometimes the work keeps my mind from wondering on things that could bring me down from my normally bubbly personality.



Spent a week in the Los Angeles and Anaheim area for professional development and got to enjoy something I have seen on TV and movies - Roscoe's House of Chicken 'n Waffles. It was fantastic. I totally recommend it if you get on the west coast.



Hopefully I will have a little more time to jot down my thoughts. I have had a lot on my mind and need to get it out. I will leave you with this one thought - I consider myself a very inquisitive person. I believe the more information you lnow about a situation, the better prepared you are. Well, I guess I wonder, how much information is actually too much information? Ponder on that and get back to me.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Is It Worth The Effort?

It has been an interesting couple of days for me. Not to go into a lot of details, I found out that someone close to me was holding a secret. I will admit that the items with that secret was because of something I have done in the past.

In a decision that was mutually agreed upon to move on and work on what was important, it seems that this person who is close to me was holding onto things that, in my opinion, would not allow complete closure of the past. I had let go of all of my items of the past regarding this person that I felt was equivalent to my deeds.

Basically, I put total and blind trust into the situation and put in some work to make amends for my part and repair something that was broken. I still had some steps to go to make it be more perfect but that would have come over time.

Outside influences were the culprit in the past but I let my insecurities go. This person close to me however, did not. When it was revealed, I was devastated because it seems that all the work I put in was for nothing. (I am no saint by any means but the effort was sincere.) The past wasn't the past. It was still up front in full and vivid color (perhaps). How can you move on if you continue to hold PHYSICAL reminders of the past? Possessing those physical reminders will continue to spark a reliving the bad memories of the past.

They just didn't understand that I felt like I was not getting anywhere. I would always be the imperfect (not that anyone is perfect) and damaged person. Even though I was not aware of this issue until days ago, it made me feel like a fool for even trying and asking myself "is it worth the effort?" It is like I was in a hole and trying to climb out and someone throwing dirt on top of me (even though it was said that none of my deeds were being thrown back in my face). I just felt that I was never going to get out of this hole.

Going back to my blog from a couple of days ago about the truth setting you free seems to apply to this unfortunate situation. Even with my antics and behavior, I still believe that if it is something that might "bite you in the butt" at a later date to be upfront about it. Maybe that is hypocritical of me but this was supposed to be a clean slate. It is easier to "forgive and forget" than to "forgive and regret."

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Addendum to The Truth Will Set You Free?

The addendum to my post is that the truth will set you free if you tell the truth before someone finds out that it is a lie or omission of fact.

An omission of fact is the same as if you are telling a big fat lie. I guess I was telling one myself for years. I am just as guilty. No sugar coating it. That was me BIG FAT LIAR.

My stomach has been doing knots all week and I have been holding it in so much that now I have made myself sick about it. I guess that is my pennace.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Truth Will Set You Free?

I remember Esther on the television show used to tell Fred Sanford that "the truth will set you free" She is always referring to him as a heathen because he doesn't live his life in the way she lives his. Is that really true though? Will the truth set your free?

I know everyone has things that they do not talk about to other people to spare their feelings or to spare your own. Is always laying things on the table the best for everyone? Have you ever told a friend something that you felt that they needed to know even if it doesn't affect you directly? Even if it will hurt them in the end?

Life is full of choices that we all have to make from time to time. Some good and some bad. Weighing the options and doing what is best for you and/or them at the time those decisions need to be made.

Is there always room for second chances? Sure. But are we willing to accept that the decisions made the first time will not happen again? I guess it depends on the type of person that you are.

So the question again - will the truth set you free?

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Grasping at Straws

I have been gone for a minute and I am sorry. Just been busy with work and life in general. Hope everyone who may take the time to read my blog is doing well.

Now for the title of this entry - Grasping at Straws. Why is it that people cannot seem to accept change. Yes, I said it - change. Barack Obama is a "natural-born US citizen." This a key requirement for anyone wanting to be President of the United States.

Like or dislike his policies and beliefs (notice I did not say to dislike him as a person) but I do not understand how come some idiots (or as they like to call themselves - Birthers) are still on this subject. Let's move on! So basically these people are saying that so many people perpatrated a fraudulant birth certificate. Even in 1961, I am sure you just cannot bring a baby into this country without proper documentation if he was born outside the United States.

Some might even argue that if they got Obama out of office then the economy will be restored. Even if I found that to have any merit, starting over would mean a setback to the strides (though small) to come out of this economic slump.

Not saying that my opinion is the best one but I consider myself a pretty level headed guy in most respects but all the effort used to take down any person is a waste of time. If these people put more effort into helping someone, then maybe we can become stronger as a nation.

We have a wonderful democracy, probably the best in the world with checks and balances in place that keep our Representatives in line (most of the time). And when they step out of line, there are REAL ways to deal with them. Stop wasting your time on whether Obama is the legitimate President of this country and figure out a way for companies can stop freezing wage increases, restore matching funds to 401k's, cutting health benefits, and halt laying off workers.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

You Don't Know Dick! (Well Now We Do).


The release of some of the Richard M. Nixon (aka Dick) tapes of his private thoughts in the Oval Office had a not so flattering opinion regarding Roe v. Wade just shocks me that someone who was elected to high office had such a slanted view of things. No wonder he didn't express his views publicly because he knew that it would not be the most popular amongst the minorities of the United States.

"Permissiveness" and the breaking up of the family were what he considered would be problems of the Supreme Court decision. People may not agree with me but rape is a logical reason to have an abortion. I do not think I know a woman who would want to carry the child of a person that violated her sexually. The fact that Nixon might find abortion necessary if you have "a black and a white" was a total kick to the gut. In the audio, Nixon didn't even say anything about rape - his aide had to to state it and he agree with him. What the hell? I cannot understand how someone can come out with an interracial pregnancy as being a reason for an abortion. I can come up with so many other "logical" reasons before I could come up with something like that. I hate to label it but I consider Nixon as being a racist. Sorry but if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it is a racist.



I love how we have come a long way regarding interracial relationships. I am sure that there were a lot of people who agreed with Dick in 1973 and probably agree with his way of thinking now.

The legacy of Richard M. Nixon has always been a little tainted but as the years go by and more information come out regarding his Presidency is revealed I believe that he will have one of the most "disgraceful" Presidencies we have had in history. Of course everything is subject to opinion. Any good that came from his time in office will be overshadowed by ongoing revelations of his shortcomings.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Penalty on the Field. Unnecessary Use of the Race Card. Penalty - Setting Us Back 50 Years.

Sorry for the long title but I thought it was a good one!

I have been researching this matter and maybe I am missing something. The Montgomery Public Schools is in the process of selecting a new Superintendent. There were many candidates including the Interim Superintendent, who is a white male.

The board has whittled down the selection to two finalist - two black females. They are Samantha Ingram, superintendent of Fairfield County Schools in South Carolina, and Barbara Thompson, superintendent of New Glarus Public Schools in Wisconsin.

Now, allegedly there have been public comments made that the City Council President Charles Jinright and County Commission Vice Chairman Reed Ingram about the selection process for finding a new Superintendent. I am not sure what they said and personally don't really care. More than likely whatever they said was due to the fact that the person or persons they would have liked to be Superintendent were not selected as a finalist.

Now with all that being said, our "Champion of Injustice", State Representative Alvin Holmes (sarcasm) decides to shoot off at the mouth saying that "officials should stop bringing race into Superintendent search". I do not remember race ever being brought into this matter until he opened his big a$$ mouth. Those of you who follow my blog might remember an earlier entry I made regarding Mr. Holmes, "OMG! Who is Dealing? Here Comes the Race Card." The finalist were narrowed down some time ago. Why rant off about it now? The Montgomery Chamber of Commerce would like to send a representative on the site visits of the two finalists but people are opposing that. Did I miss something or are both finalist black? Where is race involved? Who cares who goes on the site visits, as long as it is not costing me money as a taxpayer? I can be almost certain that the next Superintendent of the Montgomery Public Schools will be a black female. Am I wrong?

School board member Eleanor Dawkins said the site visits have become controversial because the democratic process didn't go the way some members of the community wanted it to go in favor of Clay Slagle, the white interim Superintendent. "Because the vote didn't go the way they wanted it to go they want to go on the site visits to try and find a reason why these candidates are wrong or why the vote was wrong," Dawkins said. Who the hell is "they"? White people? What can the Chamber of Commerce do to stop this process if they send representatives on the site visits? Holmes has chimed in and said that the Montgomery Chamber of Commerce represents "silk stocking, country club millionaires in this town, and does nothing to help west Montgomery." (In case you do not live here, West Montgomery, is the "black side of town".

Holmes also announced that he would bring the Reverend Al Sharpton, Reverend Jesse Jackson, and other civil rights leaders to protest all over the city if there is a block to appoint either of these finalist.

Again, we (black people) did not ask for a crusader to come to our rescue and cloud up the relative peace with stupid rhetoric and playing the "race card". I am not one to play that card myself but there is a time or a place for everything, and this was not one of those times or not remotely close to the place. I have no preference of who is Superintendent as long as my child can actually learn something to that will provide the launching pad to be anything she wants to be in life.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Why Do You Want the Country to Fail?

I got into a conversation with an old friend of mine on Facebook and I was kind of taken aback about how conservative she was. I guess it is true what they say - don't talk politics or religion with your friends.

Well basically in a nutshell, she stated that she didn't care for Obama. I guess I got that impression when she referred to Obama as that "bat eared liberal". When I stated that I might get the opportunity to meet him in a few months, she apologized to me by saying that she was "sorry" and that even though she has mulatto children she still hated him. Well considering that I voted for Obama because I didn't feel connected to McCain, I did not take into consideration anything about my daughter Jasmine (a multi-ethnic child). My vote for Obama was not because I wanted a Black President, just a President that I hoped would make things better for every American (Black or White).

Not everyone is going to like the President but regardless if your candidate won or lost, I would make the absurd assumption that you would want that person to make the country better. To top it all off, I stated that "Everyone has the right to their thoughts. All I can say, hate him or not - don't wish him to fail. If he fails, we all fail." She came back with the following and this is her exact quote "Yeah, seems as though that is happening faster than I would like!"



So of course the first thing that came to mind was a statement made by Rush Limbaugh saying that he hoped Obama fails in his Presidency. (My apologies for the picture I chose for Mr. Limbaugh, but I had to poke fun at him about all his rhetoric and he himself was not on the straight and narrow a while back.) Now, it was just one statement out of a long blow hard explanation from a person that I can't stand but respect his right to freedom of speech. On a personal note, I think that what he said is "borderline treason." Limbaugh may not want to injure the President but I get the impression that he wouldn't lose too much sleep over a White House void of President Barack Obama.



But I digress, it was not all working with George W. Bush (aka Bush The Sequel) in the White House. So let's try a different approach to our nation's issues. I do feel somewhat safer in my country due to the changes that Bush The Sequel made, however, private industry was doing things that they KNEW that might be unhealthy to our economy or way of life and the ball was dropped on monitoring them.

Now with all of the downturns that were going on with our country - unpopularity with the world, economic crisis, and soldiers dying on foreign soil, I never ever wished Bush The Sequel would FAIL. He was my President even though I didn't vote for him both times. I may not have been a supporter of some of his policies but his FAILURE was not something I wanted or wished for at any time.

If you wish for the President of the United States to FAIL in his obligation to try to make this country great for all of us to live and prosper as Americans, then that is the most UN-AMERICAN things you can do as a citizen. No one is asking you to give up your principles but there is also another saying - you can not please everyone all the time.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Fox News....The A-Holes of Cable News Does it Again

I am back in the saddle again. Been a little busy with work and other things in my life but hopefully for those who read my blog (I know I do not have a big following - LOL), I hope that I will be back entertaining and perhaps informing you of the things that make up my Journey.

Now to my subject of this blog entry. Why must Fox News hate on Obama? I guess they have nothing better to do. Of course I had to get my current rantings about the laughing stock that is Fox News Channel from a report for the much more reputable The Daily Show.

Now I will admit that Obama has f'ed it up for all of us men mainly because most of us don't have a helicopter, limo, or have a police escort for an evening out on the town. But I want my President (whomever it may be) to try to be as normal as any other American. Sure there are trappings that you can't avoid being the Commander-In-Chief but when we have someone that doesn't just sit in the White House day and night and actually gets out amongst the constituents - that is a good thing.

Fox News wants to focus on the costs of the trip. Well I am sorry but the President can't just jump on a plane flying coach to The Big Apple, rent a Prius, and drive around for a night on the town. Does Fox News know for sure that they didn't pay for the meal at the restaurant? Did it ever occur to someone that perhaps that meal was comped because the President and First Lady chose their spot to eat on their dinner date? Perhaps the tickets to the show were free as well. Working in a hotel that has a 4 Star resturant and a Performing Arts theatre, sometimes you do comp stuff for good reason.

I do not care if you didn't vote for Obama, most people would love the opportunity to meet the President (and First Lady) and if there is a little bit of inconvenience because of it, so be it. I didn't vote for Bush I or the sequel Bush II but if they came to my Hotel, you damn straight, I am going to try to get a handshake and a picture because like them or not, they took on one of the hardest jobs we have in the US.

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Maybe I need to buy that new cologne called POTUS. If I can't party like a President, maybe I can smell like one.

Have a wonderful day everyone - Out!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Did Wanda Go Over the Line?

Personally I don't think she went over the line. The whole purpose of the White House Correspondences' Dinner is for awarding scholarships to deserving persons who are interested in the journalism field and also time to not take life too serious inside the Beltway.

The fact that I have no use for Rush Limbaugh whatsoever made it so much more enjoyable. I had heard about his rant about hoping the Obama Administration would fail. Basically he is saying that he wants America to fail. Regardless of who is President, and you want them to fail, that is truly UN-American.

This is one of the times that my love for history and current events made me enjoy every joke Wanda Sykes made. I watched it with my mother on Mother's Day and I had to point on a couple of occasions why some things were funny.



I have read a few comments here and there and also saw some coverage from Fox News - the crazy insane not so factual news channel. Of course it came from my favorite sourse - The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Do you think that she went too far? Your comments are appreciated.

Another SNL Hit! Mother Lover

Justin Timberlake is my favorite host of Saturday Night Live. Adam Samberg and Justin Timberlake have another hit! Happy Mother's Day!!!! Not for the faint of heart.



The best line - "I will be the syrup, she can be my waffle". Hope a good laugh is had by all.

Another SNL staple with Justin.

Friday, May 8, 2009

White...The New Minority?

I grew up not truly thinking about race being isolated as a "military brat". I have said this to many people but there only class difference when my Dad was in the military were officers and non-commissioned officers. I dated (went steady, talked to) everyone under the rainbow as a kid. It didn't make any difference to me as long as you were pretty and had something positive about you.

As I got older, I noticed things were different outside of my military bubble especially in high school. I never experienced any racism firsthand but I noticed that there was a difference in perspective as far as race was concerned. Where you would see an abundance of interracial couples (of every kind of combination)on a military bases or in a military community, I only recall one interracial couple in high school. An example of a shift in my mindset even as a teenager, I always thought that there would be a white female as President of the United States before a black male was elected as Commander-in-Chief.

I also noticed that although black Americans had our own culture (i.e., music, fashion, vernacular) that some white Americans embraced the black culture. I don't know why. I joked to some close friends (black and white), "when did it become so cool to be black?"



Well in watching one of my favorite shows, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, there was a segment that pointed out that white Americans will no longer be the majority around the year 2050. I do not think that it is due to other races having more children but more of the fact that there are more and more interracial relationships and soon there will not be a "pure race" of any kind. Just a blend of cultures with small patches of an undiluted "family, tribe, people, or nation belonging to the same stock" (which is the Merriam-Webster meaning).

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The segment was funny with the one extremely bright kid and singer Robin Thicke, son of "ultra-white" Alan Thicke.

But I guess the question is how will the minority shift affect America? Will it truly become more of a melting pot? Will conflicts that involve racial undertones be substantially reduced? I am not militant by any means but will there be changes with the "shift of power"?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

It Isn't Always About Race with the Police....Get Over It!


For those of you who may read this blog and are not from the Montgomery, Alabama area, there is a "movement" going around the city (especially in the section that has a predominantly black population). The item at hand - Checkpoints by the Montgomery Alabama Police Department. I am sure that alot of people have had a horror story about contact with the police - I have two, one in Dooley County, Georgia and the other in Tijuana, Mexico. Two long stories that I would have to talk about later.


Now a little background of the Montgomery Police Department for those of you who love history. This is the same police department who on May 20, 1961, allowed an angry mob of white people to beat on the Freedom Riders after they arrived from Birmingham (where they were attacked as well); the same police department who arrested Rosa Parks on December 1, 1955 for refusing to obey a city bus driver to give up her seat to a white passenger; the same police department that arrested Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. on January 26, 1956 for driving 30 MPH in a 25 MPH zone in the city of Montgomery.


But today are better days in Montgomery. The police chief, a friend of mine, is a black man - heck even the fire chief is a black man. There is no more riding in the back of the bus (except now it is cool and by choice). Black owned businesses, black politicians, black people living in amongst other races with no fear of reprisals or threats. But some people just cannot forget the past and see that things are WAY different than before. I am not saying that there may not be pockets of disenfranchisement but not on the level brought about by this latest "movement".

Crime is visible no matter where you are or who you may be. You see it on the news, read it in the paper or online, hear it on the radio, or maybe you might even have been a victim. When the police try to take a legal proactive approach instead of reactive to law enforcement, I am all for it. Speaking from someone who is in the Loss Prevention/Security field and a father who is a police officer, any attempts to legally reduce crime is all right with me.

Now the "movement" is to protest the fact that local law enforcement is focusing these checkpoints on predominately black sections of the city, just to harass low income individuals. Not true, in my opinion. I live on the east side of town which is growing by leaps and bounds with commerce, housing, and schools. It is a "better" side town to me (but that is a matter of perspective). My belief is that the purpose of the checkpoints have been for better visibility of the police; checking driver's licenses, insurance, and registration; seeking out impaired drivers; checking for warrants and wanted persons; and monitoring seat belt usage.

My brother and I had a conversation earlier this week on this item. He works with several people who live on the west side of the city that feel they are being targeted by police at these checkpoints. I am not calling people who live on the west side ignorant but the ignorance that is projected by some of the things that were said astounded my brother. But my brother, who I have always felt to be more "militant" to the black cause, was trying to stress the fact that, it doesn't matter where they do the checkpoints, if you stuff is in order, you do not ever have to worry about the police. Now, I have to admit, my brother and I never truly faced any "racism" growing up. We never had to be mindful of our "place in society".

We both live in the same area - about 90 seconds from each other if we were speeding through the neighborhood. We have to take the same route to our homes. We have both encountered these checkpoints and have NEVER had any problems. There is also traffic details on a particular roadway to slow the drivers down that we both travel - I should know, I have gotten two tickets on that road. I am glad that the police are in our area so "the bad people" will not break into my home and take what I have worked hard for or hurt anyone in my household and I am sure that the same goes for my brother.

Just so you know, here are the stats:

126 Checkpoints in the north precinct resulted in 26 felony arrests, 112 misdemeanor arrests, 893 outstanding warrants, 14 drug cases, 1,993 traffic citations and nine seized weapons.

139 Checkpoints in the south precinct (which is where I live) led to seven felony arrests, 55 misdemeanor arrests, 583 outstanding warrants, 2,866 traffic citations and three seized weapons.

99 Checkpoints in the west precinct (which is predominately black) produced 22 felony arrests, 66 misdemeanor arrests, 835 outstanding warrants, five drug cases, 2,105 traffic citations and two seized weapons.

As you can see, the "movement" argument does not "hold water". My area gets more checkpoints than any other area. Of course, I am sure someone will spin that and say the police do that to keep the black people out or due to political pressure to keep this area safe due to commerce. Well I am a black person and I live here, they are not keeping me out.

One of the things that breaks down this "movement" is the lack of preparation prior to trying to prove a point. The information should have been researched prior to making a fuss about the issue. Now what is really sad, is some are still trying to keep it going. Why? There is no issue. The neighborhood with more white people are being "harassed" by the cops. Do you hear them complaining about it?

My only point is that all law abiding people on the west side need to embrace the police presence. I am sure they work just as hard, if not harder, than I do for their possessions. Don't you want to keep "the bad people" out of your neighborhood too? Think about it! And as far as insurance and driver's license - I have a 15 year old on the road now, if you are not supposed to be on the road because you do not have your stuff in order - so be it. I have been hit by a drunk driver, it isn't fun.

Monday, April 20, 2009

What a Monday....


You know, many people dread Mondays because it is the beginning of the work week. I am usually off on Sunday and Monday from work and I am a morning person anyways so I am normally not hit with the Monday "blahs". I woke up today feeling a little useless and insignificant due to some changes going on with my life. Seeing people not actually need you around is a little disheartening. But "don't cry for me Argentina" because the type of personality I have, I can usually work through it with some sense of ease.

Well as I was working through these issues this morning, I am compounded with more stuff. So what first started out as a rather uncharacteristic bad Monday has gotten up from the ten count and has hit me with a series of body blows and upper cuts like Mike Tyson's Punch Out.



I, by every stretch of the imagination, am not perfect. Never claimed to be and to me there is only one "perfect one". If there is criticism to be accepted about something I do (or don't do), I can take it. Trust me, I can. But one of the things that I have found out in my professional and personal life is that with criticism comes some praise about something. I look back as I write this and I hope that any time I offered any criticism to anyone that I also offer some sort of "goodness" about them. But the other thing that got me today was not the criticism itself but I got "labeled" in the same manner as another person who has demonstrated the same behaviors as I was said to have had by that same person. I truly do not believe there was malice in what was said to me but never the less it hurt.

I hate to say that I am writing this entry from a bad place and as it seems that the "blackness" of this feeling is overtaking me, I have pulled out this book my mother sent me for my birthday to help me find find my way on my Journey. The book is "Promises from God for Men". I look to the "Confidence" section and a piece of scripture stands out to me "The Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught." Proverbs 3:26. Literally, I take it to mean that he will keep me from tripping and feeling shame and unworthiness.

As I have said before, I am not one to be outwardly spiritual. I am not ashamed to be a believer in Him. I know He is there for me. The Journey will be bumpy and with quite a few twists and curves but I hope that no matter what, I am at peace when i get to the end.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

I am back!

For those of you who follow my blog - not many at this point (LOL) - I have returned. I am working on a few private things in my life so I may not be able to put up some good blogs in the near future but hope to make a jump back to my normally cheerful self.

Make some dramatic changes in my life and looks like I am having to make a new start on things (some of which are beyond my control). Definitely feeling alone on this part of the Journey will limited resources for comfort. I guess it goes to the old adage, "God does not give you more than you can handle". Let's hope that saying holds true.

Since my last blog, this openness thing - not all that it is cracked up to be. But I am finding out that it is essential in the people you come in contact with in life. I have been told that I am a person that people feel comfortable talking to - honestly and openly. Some times I use that to my advantage when I am interviewing a prospective employee.

Just been keeping busy with work and working on my new game plan for life. Hope this blogs finds all of you well. Out of here...

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Confused....The Unconfused Remix


Yesterday was truly an interesting day. I didn't expect anything and got everything. There was one exit ramp to the "scenic route" that was open. I found myself pulling over and wondering if I should go there or continue on my "interstate" trek and make things happen.

I decided to put the top down - a metaphor for letting down my guard - and slowly proceeding down the off ramp. Things are beautiful so far on the "scenic route" but I am going to take it slow and enjoy everything about the route but also try to get to my destination as soon as possibly.

Openness is the key to making any relationship work whether it be work or social. Just keep the lines of communication open and whether it is good or bad news so the other will not be left wondering "what in the heck is going on?" later when the walls come tumbling down. A dumb question is one that is not asked as well on the others part. We all need to keep that one in mind.

I am still on My Journey. Waiting for a few things to happen to get me there but although my initial itinerary has changed, the destination is the same.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Confused

Today is a pretty good day. Got to chit chat with a few friends and I am still putting my plan into motion to make a life better for ME. I do feel that I am on the correct path for My Journey. However, I came up on a fork in the road last night that I didn't anticipate and I find myself still standing at this morning after. Even after consulting my "map", I am a little confused.

Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines "confused" as - 1 a: being perplexed or disconcerted (i.e. the confused student); b: disoriented with regards to one's sense of time, place, or identity (i.e. the patient became confused); 2: Indistinguishable (i.e. a zigzag, crisscross, confused trail - Harry Hervey); 3: being disordered or mixed up (i.e. a contradictory or confused story). Although, I am on the path of My Journey, I do not feel that my confusion is related to the definition 2 (a confused trail). I think that I am more of definition number 1.

As I sat to gather my thoughts for this blog and I decided to play some music. The first song to come on is "Say Yes" by Floetry. Is someone trying to tell me something? Hello! Hello! There is more confusion now that I had earlier. Then I hit next and "All This Love" by DeBarge came on. Hey! Is this thing on? A little help down here!

To me, both paths at the fork lead to the same destination. It just depends on whether you want to travel the "scenic route" by the ocean or the bland existence of the "interstate"(that always seems to have exits back to the scenic route). LOL. I thought that was very clever.



The question I guess is which is truly the more miserable path? Would you rather take the "scenic route" that although great to explore, it may seem like it takes a longer time to get to the destination you want. Or do you take the "interstate" where it is boring with no excitement but seems just as long because there is nothing to break the monotony? I am sure others will have different interpretations but for the decision at hand, these choices work for me for the situation at hand and from my perspective.

You will not believe it but in the time it took me to write this blog entry, I have found that I do not have to decide which path I should take. It has been decided for me already. I will stay on the interests (and I get the impression that all the exits to the "scenic routes" as well are closed as well).

Happy Motoring to all and don't forget to fuel up. Don't know when the next stop will be.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Blessed Sunday...With Even More Questions

Today was a great day to celebrate life and the fact that I have God in my life. Could he be more in my life? Most definitely. I was very moved by the Message today in church. The church home that I have found has opened my eyes to a new way of thinking. I have always known and believed there is a greater power in life and I am slowly asking more questions to make sure that I am on the path that I know I need to be on.

I have done things that I know that are not right in the Eyes of the Lord. I always believed in man's free will and that God will always be there to catch us when we "fall". I also felt that God, no matter how much it may appear to be against his Word, guides us to the people, situations, and circumstances that we all run into in our Journeys. Kind of a "having your cake and eating it too" way of thinking I supposed. Definitely not saying that God lead me to do a bad thing. But that good or bad, there is a reason why He has put me here. I do not think He does it to "test" me - he does not have time for games such as that.


I ask myself to be a Christian Black Man, what do I have to change about me? Do I stop listening to old school Hip Hop and Rap music that may have lyrics that you certainly wouldn't play in church? Do I not listen to a comedian that tells a dirty joke and laugh? Do I not watch a movie that have sexual themes and nudity (not porn nudity)? Simple questions but a stupid question is one that does not get asked. Does that make you a bad Christian if I partake of any of that above? Do you have to ask for forgiveness every time you feel like you might have gone against God's Word? So many questions.

Yesterday and today, a fleeting thought, that perhaps anyone else would be find meaningless, had me in tears. Why is that? Is that God telling me something? Am I just too dang sensitive? LOL. I don't know.

The answers are there. I look to Him to continue to guide me and protect me as I take this path in My Journey.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Fear of Being Forgotten

This has been on my mind for the last few days but couldn't get my thoughts together and even now they may be a rambling mess so my apologies.

Have you ever been a part of something so good that you wish that feeling was with you every moment in your day? Whether it was an event, a team effort, or even a relationship. You always hope that you will be remembered as being a part of that great thing. Of course sometimes those good things come to an end whether you want them to or not.

You keep close to you the memories that made you smile, laugh, or give you that warm feeling inside. Then as times passes, you hope to get that "greatness" back but it may not be attainable at that exact moment but with that comes the fear of being forgotten too. Nobody wants to be forgotten. Oh you will try to return to that place that was good but in the process, you hope your memory does not fade away.

There was a time that I was a lot of "firsts" to someone. Those "firsts" were always good things so I hold those dear to me and I always wanted to continue to have those "firsts". But with time and circumstance come change and the opportunity to be those "firsts" is not there anymore. You always hope that the memory of you will always be there whether it is an inanimate thing such as a card, a scent, or a nickname you were called. You then hope that there is no one else that will become the holder of those "firsts".

All you can do is hope and pray that while you are getting back to that place that you feel you are meant to be, that you are not forgotten and those memories do not fade away.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

AIG Needs to See the Rage

This is one of those moments that you have to say WTF? So let me get this right - You organization's stock is down almost 98% of what it was worth? You get an infusion of $170 billion to keep you afloat by the federal government which is really people like myself Mr. Taxpayer? Then you give the people that made the HORRIBLE decisions that put the company in the toilet $165 million in bonuses? You have got to be kidding me. REALLY?



I know the man plays it cool but maybe Barack needs to be a little more like this on this AIG matter. Let's take a lesson from Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock.



I bet AIG would smell what Barack was cooking if he went off on them like that.

I have heard this excuse by other companies that you reward these people because they are the best in their field and you want to keep them on board to keep another company from stealing them and their talents. THAT IS TOTAL BULLZHIT! What talent?

Hey big time CEOs. It is bad all over. These people are not going to jump ship because you don't give them a bonus because there is no where else to go. Nobody is hiring except at McDonald's.

So since as of yesterday, the AIG stock was worth less than a dollar, maybe they need to go work at a place with a dollar menu because they certainly can't handle any more than that.



Your thoughts on it all?

Monday, March 16, 2009

Rain Rain Go Away

It is raining today (unfortunately). Although you can look at as replenishment like hydrating the Earth to continue to make all living things thrive and grow, I am seeing it as source of slowing and bogging things down a little like having to reduce your speed while driving. I guess depending on your mood today - it is a good thing or a "bad" thing.


Today is one of those days that I wish the rain was far away from me because I feel bogged down. Don't get me wrong, I still am on the high from yesterday but when things slow down - gives you way too much time to reflect on things. I am coping though with the strength of Him.

But I personally I like the sun. Feeling that warmness on my skin is good for the soul. I don't have many joys in life these days but the simple ones are the ones I cherish the most. So rain, go away and come back some other day. Give me the heat of the sun to replace the warmth that I have lost.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

A New Day...His Day

Well today was so much better than yesterday. Still experiencing the DT's but got an overabundant shot of the Lord this morning and it took my pain away for the time being. Those of you that haven't had a taste need to get on that stuff, it takes you on a "high" that is truly amazing.

I have been so busy with work the last month that I missed going to church for several weeks. I felt so down for the last week that I really needed that "fix". He is truly great. Sent out some special prayer requests this morning for a few people that I know having some issues in their lives and I feel everyone will pull through fine. AC, DW, and KW - you will be blessed and I hope everyone who needs it will feel His love and guidance.

I am not one to talk about my religious experiences all out in the open but today was a very good day. Maybe I don't show all my love for Him because I still don't quite fully understand it all but I am learning at my own pace with no pushing and pulling (like when you are made to go to church when you are a child). Not picking on my parents but I think they needed a break after Saturday with my brother and I for a few hours when we were kids. LOL.

I am taking it day by day to see what else he has in store for me. He is clearly the GPS for My Journey and I hope that I follow his directions for me closely and accurately.

Happy Sunday to all.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Freakin' Day One.....

They always say the first day is the hardest. Whoever said that is a big freakin' liar. This is something short of torture. Probably unknown to many people, I pray ever day at some point of the day whether it be hoping someone gets over an illness to thanking Him for the opportunities and blessing he has given me. I am truly leaning on Him for the last week probably more than I have in a very long time. Although I don't think I am asking for a lot - just a little guidance. I feel like I am asking for the world.


With a little help from my friends and the passage of time, I hope that the aching will subside. Not to make light of any illness or injury but could someone knock me in the head so I might get amnesia or a sudden case of dementia or Alzheimer's so maybe all the good memories will fade so it doesn't hurt so much any more.
Almost like trying to kick an addiction People always see an addiction as something bad. This was the exception to that rule of thought.

Well let's hope Daryl can keep his sanity. There is precedence that I might do something extremely off the wall. (That is an inside joke.)

Friday, March 13, 2009

Always Making the Tough Decisions...

Again, I do not usually use this forum for my own personal baggage but just like the theme of my blog, I write about My Journey and the things that make me Daryl. I always hope that someone who does take the time to read it will understand me better as a person. I write on matters that I feel strongly about and inspire me to express my thoughts.

I have one of those jobs that sometimes you have to make the tough decisions. some of them harder than others. I may have to discipline a co-worker to the point that they lose a job, tell a guest or visitor that they can't have something, or send someone to the court system because they have broken a rule in "My House". (Reference the mantra of my department "Protect This House").

After a little soul searching I had to make another hard choice. Truly letting something go.

I am sure that everyone has met that person that is the light in your day. Someone that adds some meaning in your life that you never knew that you missed until they stepped into it. Someone who is a teacher without even knowing thety are teaching you anything. Well I (with sheer good luck) had a person like that.

Unfortunately, after some time and some soul searching of their own, things changed. I am not one who begs and pleads for someone to want me and I never will. Not because I am cocky or think that I am all that - very far from it. I just believe if someone wants to be around me for me, in some part, nothing else matters. Now, that person has a perfectly good reason for their change (which I totally accept and truly understand). There are some fights that you do not even try to get into because you will know the outcome.

I never want to "vilified" for the choices regarding me. If I am not seen as good for someone mentally, physically, or spiritually, there is no reason to be a part of that person. Love and affection is supposed to be a good thing if I remember correctly. No matter how good, sane, and true an argument is, however, the last thing you would want is to feel is that everything that was - was actually the work of something sinister. No matter how much it is explained to me, I guess I cannot see the forest through the trees. The simple fact that I cannot get around that makes me feel even more lacking in spiritual understanding because I can justify how things came to be and point out that I am not alone in a situation (although a little different).

By no means are minds going to be changed by this entry. Not even my goal. This is something that I just felt strongly enough to put on "paper". So with that I will refer back to my blog of yesterday, "Just Not My Week..." and leave it at that. Another tough decision.

Praying that those who have found love can hold onto it - together.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Just Not My Week....

This just does not seem to be my week for relationships. People seem to be exiting my immediate life this week. Got some news yesterday that one of my friends was parting ways. I did not see it coming whatsoever just like the first one earlier this week. Twice in one week, you have people that have some part in defining who you are or could be making an exit? Hope the week ends quickly before anyone else makes a run for the door.

Both were total surprises. Both seemed like they would be much longer term relationships. Both were people I respected and always felt that I could learn something from. Both had a part to drive me to be a better person and what I do in life.

Although I have more than enough strength to go on alone, it is hard to find people that affect your life like that. I will take the knowledge that I have learned from these two individuals and continue on my journey.

So with that thought, I bid them both Au Revoir, Auf Wiedersehen, Shalom , Salam, Farvel, 再见, Hyvästi, Valete, Arrivederci, Ja ne, Adiós, Goodbye.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Meeting Jesse Jackson and US Congressman John Lewis

This weekend I had the pleasure of meeting two Civil Rights pioneers in the course of my duties at work, The Reverend Jesse Jackson and US Congressman John Lewis. Both of these men were attending the US Congressional Delegation Civil Right Pilgrimage in the area (Birmingham, Montgomery, and Selma).

Other notable people where in attendance this past weekend but these two stuck out due to all the history I had read and seen over the years on the struggle that allowed me to be where I am today. I will not concede that I was given anything because I worked hard to be in the position I am today. But I will thank them for the door that they help push open so I would have the opportunities to show people (who might not think a Black man could excel) that I can do the job and probably even better.



To put it in my own words from what I gathered from the speeches and conversations that I heard over the weekend, we must take responsibility for what we say and do in the raising of our next generation. We must make sure that they are educated and possess the characteristics that will have them move forward in life and continue to progress of not being seen as the second class citizen before the struggle to achieve equality. We must do what we can to inspire those who feel that there is no future or hope and open their eyes to see that there are better things in life. Not necessarily material things, but the fulfilment of dreams. If we do not take that task wholeheartedly, we fail them and we fail ourselves. Your heroes and mentors should be those who give something back to society to make a difference and not because they have a great jump shot, fastest 40, or most RBIs. (I am not hating on professional athletes but like I have always said, they are overpaid for kid's games).

I will admit that I have lived a "sheltered" life where I never saw much out right blatant racism so I hold those words to be not necessarily for Black people but for ALL people. Oppression in any form is an ugly blistering infected sore of humanity. We do have a cure for it though. Are you up to it?

Monday, March 9, 2009

All Work and No Play Makes Daryl a Dull Boy

I don't normally use this venue to document the happenings of my EVERYDAY life but inspiration hit me this morning and just felt the need to put it on "paper".

It has been a hectic two weeks at work. Ty Pennington, a slew of US Congressmen and Congresswomen, a contingent of Federal Police Officers and Special Agents, and various VIP's that graced us with the opportunity to give them a glimpse of the hospitality of Montgomery. Also, the dealing with additional safety enhancements being made to the building to make it safer for the guests and associates was being put into place and is ongoing.

I found myself in a position that I did not think that I would be when I took this job - WORKING ALL THE TIME like I did with my old job. Don't get me wrong, I am going to do what it takes to make sure that the mission is complete and I do enjoy my work. But I find myself unfulfilled because I was not able to enjoy any interests outside of work and I always wonder how much that deteriorates everything else. In worrying about stuff outside of work, I put more of myself into work to keep myself busy to not worry about stuff outside of work. Doesn't make a bit of sense, I know.

Well I hope that over the next few days I will be able to get some rest and spend some time on those matters that I hold dear to me and get back on track.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

What is wrong with Fox News? Redux

Is Fox News run by a bunch of inept bunch of ULTRA CONSERVATIVE Republicans or something? Everything else going on in the world and they jump on Vice President Biden not remembering a website address?

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Monday, February 23, 2009

Fair Warning?

I was reading an entry to a blog that I follow (I Date White) and the latest one was by a white female guest writer who says that black people seem to open up to her more when they find out that she dates the "bruthas".

It got me thinking about how I interact with people since I have a significant other who is white. Many people do not know that. It is not like I walk around with a platinum chain with a medallion that says that "I Date White Women", "Where Da White Women At?", or "I am Down with the Swirl". I try to avoid is having people feel uncomfortable about me in regards to who I am with.



This leads me to a encounter I had with a black female. She was going on about the last Chris Rock comedy special on HBO and basically the stereotypes of black males dating white females. I can laugh at those situation because some of the time, they are true. Of course, she didn't know that I was with a white woman (and yes, she is thick and fine). I just smiled and let her speak on how she doesn't necessarily like the "swirl". Later on, she found out that I was with a white woman and her facial expression changed - not in disgust but some sort of embarrassment of what she said during out last encounter.

Well the question is, should I give someone "fair warning" of some aspects of my life to keep them from being embarrassed later or let someone put their foot in their mouth to figure out the "true" nature of this person? I respect every one's opinion on anything but I never want to feel I have to apologize (even though I won't)for the choices that I make in my life.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Look At Me Now....See What You Could Have Had

A co-worker and I were having a discussion last night on old girlfriends. This stemmed from us being on Facebook and me coming in contact with an old girlfriend online. We talked about how our significant others would react to something like that - his would probably give him a knock up side the head and mine does not seem to be bothered too much about it at all. (Of course there some back stories to their reactions that I will not get into in this blog).

Every person has been through this (and if you are deny it, you are a big fat liar). You run into an old girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse/significant other. The first thing you do is to assess how you were then and how you are now. You hope that you have made positive strides in your life. That can range from your appearance, your social status, your occupation, your financial worth, your responsibilities, your sexual expertise (yeah, I said it), you new significant other (if you have one), and other factors you can gauge into the assessment.

If you are doing well, you want that person to know that you have actually "grown up". If it was a breakup where you got rejected, you want them to know that you have "moved on" or "see what they could have had". Then there is the "what would have happened if" thought. It is not something you take any stock or seriousness in but you do wonder what if your journey turned out different. Of course, in the back of your mind, you hope that if you had cut this person loose that they are not doing better (as if breaking up with you made their whole life go downhill). I actually know someone who has left a few drowning in her wake. LOL.

I have been re-introduced to at least three ex-girlfriends over the years - only one in person. I have always been serious with my relationships so I never had the I have "grown up" thought. I have never had a truly bad break up to get the "see what they could have had" thought. And I have rarely had the "what would have happened if" thought because I feel that this is the Journey I was supposed to take.

So, do you have an Ex that you would love to show your current life to? Have you had an Ex that you have seen and had the "what would have happened if" thought?

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Get Ahead and Take Two Steps Back? Hell Naw!

This was an entry I wrote on 02/08/09 but never published until now. Well my friend has hit me up again regarding the subject so I felt I had to publish it.

This must be the weekend where I have become Dr. Phil or something. (Referring to my entry "How Can You Tell She Loves You? Don't Let the Other Shoe... ") I had another friend hit me up today that I do not hear from all that often seeking my advice on a romantic situation.

My friend was, for all intensive purposes, "left at the altar". He and this woman lived together for a while in Atlanta but broke up. Then she contacted him some time later wanting to get married and have him come move in with her in Mississippi. He had quit his job and packed his stuff all in anticipation of going away with her. Well as you can probably figure that, marriage didn't happen.

He then moves away to North Carolina to start fresh. I hate it for him because he does not have the structure of friends as he did in Georgia. His brother is up there in North Carolina but he has a whole laundry list of issues going on that I rather not divulge.

She contacts him again wanting to come live with him. Now my friend is starting over again. He has found the graciousness of a fellow church member to let him stay with him until he can get on his feet - which he is really not ready to do at this time. She wants him to set up household for her to come there to be with him. Then wants him to meet her in Atlanta to bring her up to North Carolina.

I asked him, why can't she make the whole trip herself? If she wants to be with him then she will make a way. She has money coming in due to a disability (I don't know what it is but I think it has something to do with her back). Maybe I am wrong but I said to him, you do not need to take a step backwards like that. Someone once told me to never take a step backwards to an EX. I mean it is one thing if they broke up for a day or even a week but we are talking over a year right now. If she really wants to make a life with him, she can send some money for him to make a home for them prior to her arrival. She can make the trip to prove she wants to be there with him after leaving him hanging in Georgia.

Love or the promise of love can make you do strange things. Growing up with him, I didn't see him have the best luck with women. As an adult for many years, we were not in contact with each other so I do not know if his luck changed too much (but he does have two children by two different women).

Am I just being too cynical? I am a romantic and believe in love but I also DO NOT believe in being a chump or a sucker over it.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

How Can You Tell She Loves You? Don't Wait for the Other Shoe...

Today, I was chatting with an online friend of mine. He is not one of my closest friends but I guess I was the only one online at the time so he needed to vent. We do not talk a lot so we have to do a lot of catch up when we happen to be online at the same time.

We were talking about relationships and how to make them work. One of the questions that popped up was - "how can I tell if she loves me?" He is not an insecure man at all from what I know about him - college educated and working on another degree, got his own place and car, no baby mama drama (meaning he doesn't have any children running around out there), and a good job with potential for growth. So needless to say, that question kind of took me by surprise. I told him the same answer that I told my brother when he was thinking about asking his now wife to marry him - "it is different for everyone." But I told him that for myself, it is the little things that show how much you care.

I am a simple guy so little thought is required for me. One does not have to go through any over the top display for me, the simple fact that you thought about me makes me feel good. No, I am not desperate, just try to keep it simple. I hate to brag on myself but there was a very appealing woman seeking my attention last night while I was working but there would have been dire consequences on many fronts if I opened that box - no pun intended.

An invitation - a date, to come over, to get some "shuga" - yes I said "shuga" not sugar; an initiation - to touch, to kiss, to plan an event, to take a trip, to make love, to drop a line or make a call; a sharing - of their dreams, of their thoughts; of their life. Well for a simple guy, I might be more difficult than I thought after I wrote it. LOL. As long as I do not feel all the effort of the relationship is from my end, I feel loved. I guess my problem is that I do not assume anything. I think it comes from the job really - "just the facts ma'am, nothing but the facts".

Call it crazy that I think that way. If someone, who you are in a deep relationship with, takes time out of what they are doing to let you know that you are on their mind and they gain absolutely nothing from it, it is a good thing.

Then he drop some more on me. The relationship, in his opinion and heart, was going good, but it was too good to be true. I guess he was going on that old saying, "if it looks too good to be true, then it is." I will have to admit that I have been there a time or two. Waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak. I always remember when everything was all exciting and new and PERHAPS maybe the "newness" wore off on her before me and then things change. You cannot judge a brand spanking new relationship with one that is several months or years old. I had to learn that lesson myself. Some have called me a romantic at heart so I guess I am one of those guys that loves that newness and want to keep it alive with that person all the time along with building something stable and sustainable with them at the same time. Not always the easiest task but it takes a little effort sometimes.

I am no psychologist or anything like that but all I could do was tell him that if you think that way, you will never enjoy the love of this person.

What do you think? This goes for both sexes - what indicates to you that the person you are with loves you?