Monday, April 20, 2009
What a Monday....
You know, many people dread Mondays because it is the beginning of the work week. I am usually off on Sunday and Monday from work and I am a morning person anyways so I am normally not hit with the Monday "blahs". I woke up today feeling a little useless and insignificant due to some changes going on with my life. Seeing people not actually need you around is a little disheartening. But "don't cry for me Argentina" because the type of personality I have, I can usually work through it with some sense of ease.
Well as I was working through these issues this morning, I am compounded with more stuff. So what first started out as a rather uncharacteristic bad Monday has gotten up from the ten count and has hit me with a series of body blows and upper cuts like Mike Tyson's Punch Out.
I, by every stretch of the imagination, am not perfect. Never claimed to be and to me there is only one "perfect one". If there is criticism to be accepted about something I do (or don't do), I can take it. Trust me, I can. But one of the things that I have found out in my professional and personal life is that with criticism comes some praise about something. I look back as I write this and I hope that any time I offered any criticism to anyone that I also offer some sort of "goodness" about them. But the other thing that got me today was not the criticism itself but I got "labeled" in the same manner as another person who has demonstrated the same behaviors as I was said to have had by that same person. I truly do not believe there was malice in what was said to me but never the less it hurt.
I hate to say that I am writing this entry from a bad place and as it seems that the "blackness" of this feeling is overtaking me, I have pulled out this book my mother sent me for my birthday to help me find find my way on my Journey. The book is "Promises from God for Men". I look to the "Confidence" section and a piece of scripture stands out to me "The Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught." Proverbs 3:26. Literally, I take it to mean that he will keep me from tripping and feeling shame and unworthiness.
As I have said before, I am not one to be outwardly spiritual. I am not ashamed to be a believer in Him. I know He is there for me. The Journey will be bumpy and with quite a few twists and curves but I hope that no matter what, I am at peace when i get to the end.