Friday, January 9, 2009

Why White Women Date and Marry Black Men?

In my years growing up with a father in the military, I always saw that experience as opening my eyes and mind to different cultures and ways of thinking. As some people know, I love history and how it has changed or shaped us as we are today. In my growing up, I really never thought of color (except for Army green). As I tell people (and as other military brats know), everyone was the same. There were no real class differences except if you want to talk about the difference between officers and non-commissioned officers. Your father or mother was a cook, a tank driver, a mechanic, or a engineer, but everyone had the same boss - Uncle Sam.

I can pinpoint my attraction to white females - that is a whole other blog - but with all the "problems" that some white females could possibly face from family and friends for dating outside their race, I am curious on what drives them to do so. One question that I have always asked my white female friends who date black guys, white girlfriends, and even white females I have chatted with online who date black men is "what attracted you to black men?"

I have gotten a whole lot of answers across the board from the most sincere to the most absurd to the down right raunchy.

Here are some of the responses:

Black men are dominant and take charge.
Black men are more romantic and sensual.
Black men and the Black Culture are so fascinating.
Black men possess strong spirituality.
Black men have full thicker lips for kissing.
The contrast of a Black man's skin color against mine is so beautiful.
Black men have great stamina in the bed. (Of course I have been told that myth is not always true, present company excluded. LOL)
Black men have large d$cks. (Again, this myth has been proven to be false by these women's past relationships.)
Black men and white women make the prettiest babies.
Because I was a thick girl, black guys tended to talk to me more than white guy and give me the attention that I wanted from a male.
Due to their so-called superiority, white men are very arrogant.
I just didn't like how some of my white friends talked about black people growing up.
To be a little rebellious against my parents.
It was a little taboo.
There is nothing sexier than a clean cut, professional, and stylishly dressed black men walking into a room.
I saw an interracial porn movie and I wanted to do what I saw on the screen.
Just curiosity at first.
All white boys wanted to do was get drunk all the time in high school and get blowjobs.
The white guys I knew had trucks with big tires and it was hard to get in them but all the black guys had low riding cars. (That was the most insane thing I had ever heard.

So I pose the question to all non-black women, What first attracted you to black guys/men?


  1. You are so one minded. What is so wrong with a black woman? Are we too strong for you? Or do you want someone to service your every want and need with out lip? Or are you ashamed of you beautiful dark chocolate skin? Oh, how you could imagine how a black woman would love to be with a real BLACK man. I know i would. I hope you find what you are looking for in that pale white skin. No offense to the white race, but We BLACK people were the first. Black is beautiful. If you think its not, good for you. Because you are missing out on making some of the world's most beautiful children in this world. I love everyone. But, how can you just judge and individual based upon skin complection. How shallow of you.. I hope you find what you are looking for yet again..

  2. Dear Anonymous,

    If you should know, my first spouse was a black woman (God rest her soul). I have nothing against black women (or for that matter Asia women, Indian women, or Latin women). I am attracted to all women. If I wanted a "maid", I would hire one not marry someone to take care of me. I am perfectly capable of doing for myself. My mother is a VERY STRONG black woman herself and she has made me the productive intelligent man I am today. All I ever asked in someone that I am with is to bring something to the table such as a drive to succeed, zest for life, and intelligence. It doesn't matter on the packaging. You get hung up on the packaging, I think you miss out on new experiences. None of this is to change your mind about your attraction to black men. The purpose of this blog entry had nothing to do with judging an "individual based upon skin complexion" but to just poke fun on the reasons that some white women date or marry black men.

    Thanks for the comment though. Appreciate the feedback.

  3. Hi, I am a white European woman and I have something to add: I have been with men of different ethnic backgrounds, was married to a white guy for many years, and no matter how fabulous each of them were in their own way, I just couldnt and cant help wanting and needing a black man... I am in love with your features, your sense of pride, your masculinity, your strength, how far youve come and the struggle that went before... these are all things that make you irrisistable in my eyes... There is nothing more beautiful than a black man!

  4. I, like the white European woman before me, have dated men of other races, but I can't help wanting and needing a black man.... they are simply irresistable. Mind you not ALL black men are that way. It also depends on their attitude, their love for life, their need/want for accomplishing something in their life, the importance of family and their ability to unconditionally love for a woman, etc... I just prefer all that be in a sexy, intelligent black man! I laughed at the first woman to comment and said "We BLACK people were the first". The first for what exactly? I hope she wasn't talking about the first people that existed.

  5. Southern Soul

    I am a young black man who has never dated a white woman and been speaking to a woman I recently met who is one of the most amazing people Ive met in my life I don't know if she feeling me or if she is just freindly .wanted to ask someone who has dated outside I don't know how to tell if she is feeling me ,maybe because it is outside my race but I do know has an amazing personality and beauty in which is unspoke of any comments on approaching or anything would help

  6. Biggest Heart

    I am a Black man and I fell deeply in love with a white women who at first was in love with me too, but when it came down to being seriously involved, she left me brokenhearted cause I am Black! I don't see color as being a problem but it was so painfully shown to me that it does on the other side. I am a good person and I care people of all color and will never not love someone because of the color of their skin.

  7. I am a white male and love women whether with white skin, black, or whatever. Sure I am picky. I am 47 years old and as I get older I am really finding many beautiful black ladies that I am attracted to and I feel they are more respectful toward some white guys not always. I meet a hot looking black lady near Fort Lewis, WA a few months ago and man she was gorgeous and her personality.

  8. I'm a white woman. I had never been particularly attracted to black men. However, I recently met someone who I am attracted to and have been seeing. I never gave it much thought about the color of his skin - he is just a wonderful human being (smart, funny, playful, strong, shares my ethics and morals, etc....). I believe that it was natural that I am attracted to him, want to spend time and be with him. I don't really think the color of his skin has any bearing on how I feel one way or the other.

  9. I am a black female and I must say I get rubbed the wrong way when I see black men with white women. I bet some of our ancestors are rolling over in their graves. I respect all races, but knowing so much of my history I can't ever imagine being with a white man, attracted to one and definitely not marrying one. I guess I saw the movie Roots to many times. there is no reason why a black man should have to go outside of his race. On the contrary and as time passed, I started to accept because as long as the races mixed and the black gene is the dominant gene, that only means that the white race will continune to disipate which could turn out to be a good thing

  10. I am a Black woman that loves Black men. I don't care if someone of any race choose to be with someone outside their race but as for myself I like what I like and that's black men. black men are very good looking when they are well dressed, I love how they know how to take control and put it down. and just like the last lady said because of history I cant imagine having relations with a white man maybe Hispanic, Asian, Native American but the white race is out.