This is basically a rant and vent entry. The names have been concealed to avoid embarrassment and implication.
If you have a significant other whose full or part time job is "street corner pharmaceutical sales", when do you say to yourself, "I have got to make a change or do better?" I guess because I have a CRAZY fear of drugs (and I think a whole lot about myself) that it has never been an appeal or escape for me. I don't want to be around them [drugs] or jeopardize anyone that is close to me of being associated with them.
I am not ragging on women because they are some of the most wonderful creatures on God's Earth but when they think they are "in love", some seem to lose their f$#king mind and look completely past every fault that their "love" has and seem to be willing to take the blame for something that their "love" has done. I have quite a few cop friends and some of the stories that I hear about the woman taking the fall for their gun running, dope dealing, burglarizing, sex predator, robber, murdering boyfriends/husbands/significant others make me sick.
Now comes the really f#@ked part for me - you put yourself (and possibly your children) in the situation and get busted and expect everyone to do drop everything and inconvenience themselves to get you out of the trouble you have put yourself into. Family is supposed to assume more debt to deal with another family member's issue that COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED? To me, that is selfish. I can understand if you are helping a family member defend against something that was not entirely their fault but knowingly being in a bad situation - why should my life change?
I am no angel and do not claim to be "pure as the driven snow" but I guess my "consideration of others" would not allow me to even ask for help if I put myself in a bad situation. Some things come to mind that would not allow me to ask for help IF I PUT MYSELF OUT THERE AND ACTUALLY DONE IT: manufacturing drugs; domestic violence; drug trafficking; murder or manslaughter; solicitation of a prostitute; robbery; burglary; indecent exposure; or crimes against a child.
It may sound cold and heartless but if you have been the "go to" person for help, when do you have to say - this is the end of the rope, there is no more rope to give to pull you out?
Why in the world does "love" make some women (or men) do something that is criminal or put up with something that is criminal? Please explain this to me. Let's reformulate that line from Boomerang by Hallie Berry that "Love should have brought your a$$ home last night" to "Love should never require you to do 5 to 10 for your a$$".
Oh Daryl, this one hits very close to home, as we are going through this as we speak, with one of our relatives. Without putting ALL his business out there too much, we, along with the rest of the family, are currently in the process of helping him get his life together. I won't even go into the crime details because they are intense, but the difference "this time" and why we are helping "this time," and oh there have been MANY "this times," is that he is making the change and is now determined to have a better life. We are willing to help get him there because now HE is making the effort and the rest of us are just helping him to keep standing. It's been an intense ride but this time he IS going to make it.
ReplyDeleteWell it appears that my family member is catching a break. If all is well, they will be able to walk away from it all. I will not lie that it has caused some undo strife and stress to myself. Amy, I never imagined it would get to the level it did with this relative. Maybe, just maybe, this is will be the wake up call they truly needed but I am skeptical due to their actions after their release but maybe I don't know the whole story why yet. It shouldn't have affected me as much as it did but due to previous episodes, it really put me out of commission.
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