Friday, July 30, 2010
What Were You Thinking?
This is basically a rant and vent entry. The names have been concealed to avoid embarrassment and implication.
If you have a significant other whose full or part time job is "street corner pharmaceutical sales", when do you say to yourself, "I have got to make a change or do better?" I guess because I have a CRAZY fear of drugs (and I think a whole lot about myself) that it has never been an appeal or escape for me. I don't want to be around them [drugs] or jeopardize anyone that is close to me of being associated with them.
I am not ragging on women because they are some of the most wonderful creatures on God's Earth but when they think they are "in love", some seem to lose their f$#king mind and look completely past every fault that their "love" has and seem to be willing to take the blame for something that their "love" has done. I have quite a few cop friends and some of the stories that I hear about the woman taking the fall for their gun running, dope dealing, burglarizing, sex predator, robber, murdering boyfriends/husbands/significant others make me sick.
Now comes the really f#@ked part for me - you put yourself (and possibly your children) in the situation and get busted and expect everyone to do drop everything and inconvenience themselves to get you out of the trouble you have put yourself into. Family is supposed to assume more debt to deal with another family member's issue that COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED? To me, that is selfish. I can understand if you are helping a family member defend against something that was not entirely their fault but knowingly being in a bad situation - why should my life change?
I am no angel and do not claim to be "pure as the driven snow" but I guess my "consideration of others" would not allow me to even ask for help if I put myself in a bad situation. Some things come to mind that would not allow me to ask for help IF I PUT MYSELF OUT THERE AND ACTUALLY DONE IT: manufacturing drugs; domestic violence; drug trafficking; murder or manslaughter; solicitation of a prostitute; robbery; burglary; indecent exposure; or crimes against a child.
It may sound cold and heartless but if you have been the "go to" person for help, when do you have to say - this is the end of the rope, there is no more rope to give to pull you out?
Why in the world does "love" make some women (or men) do something that is criminal or put up with something that is criminal? Please explain this to me. Let's reformulate that line from Boomerang by Hallie Berry that "Love should have brought your a$$ home last night" to "Love should never require you to do 5 to 10 for your a$$".