Look At Me Now....See What You Could Have Had

A co-worker and I were having a discussion last night on old girlfriends. This stemmed from us being on Facebook and me coming in contact with an old girlfriend online. We talked about how our significant others would react to something like that - his would probably give him a knock up side the head and mine does not seem to be bothered too much about it at all. (Of course there some back stories to their reactions that I will not get into in this blog).

Every person has been through this (and if you are deny it, you are a big fat liar). You run into an old girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse/significant other. The first thing you do is to assess how you were then and how you are now. You hope that you have made positive strides in your life. That can range from your appearance, your social status, your occupation, your financial worth, your responsibilities, your sexual expertise (yeah, I said it), you new significant other (if you have one), and other factors you can gauge into the assessment.

If you are doing well, you want that person to know that you have actually "grown up". If it was a breakup where you got rejected, you want them to know that you have "moved on" or "see what they could have had". Then there is the "what would have happened if" thought. It is not something you take any stock or seriousness in but you do wonder what if your journey turned out different. Of course, in the back of your mind, you hope that if you had cut this person loose that they are not doing better (as if breaking up with you made their whole life go downhill). I actually know someone who has left a few drowning in her wake. LOL.

I have been re-introduced to at least three ex-girlfriends over the years - only one in person. I have always been serious with my relationships so I never had the I have "grown up" thought. I have never had a truly bad break up to get the "see what they could have had" thought. And I have rarely had the "what would have happened if" thought because I feel that this is the Journey I was supposed to take.

So, do you have an Ex that you would love to show your current life to? Have you had an Ex that you have seen and had the "what would have happened if" thought?

Get Ahead and Take Two Steps Back? Hell Naw!

This was an entry I wrote on 02/08/09 but never published until now. Well my friend has hit me up again regarding the subject so I felt I had to publish it.

This must be the weekend where I have become Dr. Phil or something. (Referring to my entry "How Can You Tell She Loves You? Don't Let the Other Shoe... ") I had another friend hit me up today that I do not hear from all that often seeking my advice on a romantic situation.

My friend was, for all intensive purposes, "left at the altar". He and this woman lived together for a while in Atlanta but broke up. Then she contacted him some time later wanting to get married and have him come move in with her in Mississippi. He had quit his job and packed his stuff all in anticipation of going away with her. Well as you can probably figure that, marriage didn't happen.

He then moves away to North Carolina to start fresh. I hate it for him because he does not have the structure of friends as he did in Georgia. His brother is up there in North Carolina but he has a whole laundry list of issues going on that I rather not divulge.

She contacts him again wanting to come live with him. Now my friend is starting over again. He has found the graciousness of a fellow church member to let him stay with him until he can get on his feet - which he is really not ready to do at this time. She wants him to set up household for her to come there to be with him. Then wants him to meet her in Atlanta to bring her up to North Carolina.

I asked him, why can't she make the whole trip herself? If she wants to be with him then she will make a way. She has money coming in due to a disability (I don't know what it is but I think it has something to do with her back). Maybe I am wrong but I said to him, you do not need to take a step backwards like that. Someone once told me to never take a step backwards to an EX. I mean it is one thing if they broke up for a day or even a week but we are talking over a year right now. If she really wants to make a life with him, she can send some money for him to make a home for them prior to her arrival. She can make the trip to prove she wants to be there with him after leaving him hanging in Georgia.

Love or the promise of love can make you do strange things. Growing up with him, I didn't see him have the best luck with women. As an adult for many years, we were not in contact with each other so I do not know if his luck changed too much (but he does have two children by two different women).

Am I just being too cynical? I am a romantic and believe in love but I also DO NOT believe in being a chump or a sucker over it.