And the Father Is?

I am going to tell you a little story and see what you think about it?

I have a friend who has a kid. He married the child's mother so it is really his stepchild and has been for quite some time. Even years before he married the child's mother, he was there for the mother and the child. He has clothed this child, fed this child, taken the child to doctor's appointments and school functions, and all the other things a "real" parent is supposed to do. He remembers when the child was much younger and the "biological" father would make plans to pick the child up to spend time and would never show up. The child would be upset for days and my friend could not understand why because he (for all intensive purposes) has been the "father" and the child was crying for someone that she didn't even know. It upset him probably just as much as it upset the child.

Now, the child's "biological" father does not live in the area and hasn't for years. He has a "new family". He almost never calls to check up on the child. He doesn't pay ANY child support at this time. He doesn't have shared custody. The "biological" has family where my friend lives and when he is in town, he doesn't come and visit his child and when he does, it is for minutes. All communication with the "biological" seems to be initiated by the child. My friend and the child's mother has NEVER hindered this child to talk to or visit the "biological." My friend has tolerated the "biological" when he decides to be a "father" when it is convenient to him. - his M.O. for years.

Now, let's up skip to yesterday evening. My friend tells me that he and the child's mother are disciplining his stepchild because the child is on restriction. The child just so happens to be on the phone, which was actually breaking one of the terms of the restriction, with the "biological" father and the "biological" must have heard it over the phone. The stepchild gets off the phone and the phone is taken away. A voicemail alert comes up and my friend decides to listen to the message. Can you guess who it was? It was the "biological" telling him how he should not be talking to his child like that and if he has a problem with that to contact him and talk to him like that. What the fuck?

This man has decided now to TRY to flex his long lost parental power. My friend could not believe it. The nerve of him telling him how to run his household. The "biological" didn't even hear that the child's mother was talking too but just because my friend's voice was louder, that is all he heard through the phone. It sounded like the "biological" is calling out the man that stepped up to be "the man" for the child that he basically "abandoned".

My friend is not wanting to get into a bullshit contest with this man even though he is right. (Or at least I believe he is.) He is trying not to become a wedge in between this man and his "abandoned" child. The biological's actions was so disturbing and upsetting that it took everything for the child's mother to keep from telling this child the "real deal and truth" about their father which is some harsh stuff. There has never been any baby mama/baby daddy drama in this blended family before.

Why do some men do this? They don't do anything for a child they fathered but want to lash out at the man that stepped up to be the man they can't seem to be for that child.

A Sorry Excuse For a Father

This is definitely a "What's Going On?" moment.

This sorry excuse for a father says that he "had a whole bunch of reasons" for killing his 2 year old son. WTF? There are times when it might be justified (on the moral compass) to take a life such as to prevent the immediate death of you or another person and although it is an ugly subject, even war. But what DAMN reason is there to take the life of a defenseless 2 year old child - that is also your son.

Let's go to the video tape and see this Sorry Ass Black Man (SABM).

Danny Platt Apologizes for Killing Son, Ja'Shawn Powell

Now I have heard a comedian describe African Americans (or black people, whichever you prefer) as a race of people who all of us become embarrassed when one of our own screws up. This is definitely one of those times.

If this is over child support, that everyone seems to be speculating on, then it makes it an even sadder case. $4,000? I am sure that it is a lot if you do not have that much. I mean, I do all right financially but I could not come up with $4,000 immediately without a little effort. But only $4,000? He was getting a little over $100 a paycheck for the State of Louisiana to provide for his son what he should have been doing all along. You were getting off light Mother F$%ker!

I would love to know this man's reasons, no let me scratch that because he is not a man, this punk's reasons for doing this. A real man, in his situation, would be there for his child and had NO problem of helping to provide for him emotionally, financially, and even spiritually whether or not he was with the mother of the child.

This is what embarrasses me as a black man. You do not want to believe the stereotypes but it would not be a stereotype unless it actually happens enough for someone to notice. I don't have any child of my own flesh and blood but for those that have children, need to be there for their boys and girls. I understand that people do not get along after they have children. We have got to show these little boys that there can be some type of respect for his mother (and opther women) and these little girls that there are good men out there who can be a good provider, supporter, and partner (in every way).

Now I have no idea of Mr. Platt's background growing up. I don't know the situation with his own father (or mother). Maybe he is part of this "vicious cycle" but there has got to be a time where you look above it and see that there is something better. Prosperity and hope is all around us. It may not have been in the neighborhood that Mr. Platt grew up in (and again I am speculating) but it is there. Don't settle for being a stereotype, be an original (as I have discussed with someone close to me many times).

May God take care of Ja'Shawn and help his family with their grief.